This year’s youth conference went well with a lot of good teaching from Dr. Chibwe as well as some very helpful discussions and question sessions. Some of the questions raised will likely show up again in the discussion forum, but here I’d like to briefly summarize one of the topics which was discussed: Marriage guidance for youth from the life of Isaac.
The 5 P’s of marriage
1. The right POINT in time
- Each person must be careful and be aware of the things they are going through in their life. Each one of us grows physically from being a child to being an adult, and just like it is the wrong POINT in time for a child to get married, there are other things in life that indicate that it is the right or wrong POINT in time for marriage.
- Once example of this Isaac. Shortly after Isaac’s mother died (Gen 23:1-2) Abraham (Isaac’s father) sent his servant to go and find a wife for Isaac who was at that point about 40 years old. When the servant came back with Rebekah, it says that “Isaac brought Rebekah into his mother Sarah’s tent. He took here as his wife and loved here. So Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death.” – Gen 24:67
2. The right PREPARATION
- For someone to get married, they must be PREPARED in four main areas as seen in Genesis 2:24 “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother and shall cleave (be joined to) his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”
- physically mature so they can leave their parent’s home and on their own handle the various physical aspects of marriage including producing children as God blessed them to do in Gen 1:28
- materially stable so that they can obey God’s command to “Leave … father and mother” and be self sustaining
- mentally mature so they can have a strong relationship and truly be one with their partner as well as guide, and train up their children
- spiritually mature so they can train up their children in the “nurture and fear of the Lord” Eph 6:4. Also, a person must know their gift so that they can find one to “help” in the life and work that God has chosen for them.
- Matthew 6:33 also reminds us to seek first the kingdom of God, putting God’s things first and He will guide in all things including marriage
3. The right PLACE
- When Abraham took a wife for Isaac, he made sure that she was not coming from among those who God was going to judge (the Canaanites), instead he sent his servant a long distance to look for her among those who I knew would match the promises of Isaac. (Genesis 24:4,11).
- Today when God guides a believer to find a partner in the bond of marriage, he commands that they take a partner from ‘among the spiritual brethren’ as is found in 2 Corinthians 6:14 “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?” There is also the need to make sure the believer is gathering ‘outside the city’, in other words is publicly identified with Christ and following Him as is found in Hebrews 13:12.
4. PRAYER
- When sent to find a wife for Isaac, Abraham’s servant prayed for guidance and a clear sign so that he would know that he had the right person (Gen 24:12-14)
- As a vital part of any Christian’s life (Ephesians 6:18-19, Colossians 4:2), prayer is absolutely necessary when making the second most important decision in a person’s life – who to marry.
5. the right PERSON
- Abraham’s servant, as well as looking for God’s guidance, was looking for someone who worked hard, was hospitable, and humble. We see this when Rebekah volunteered to draw about 2,000 liters of water (100 of our 20 liter containers), and offered a place for the group to stay in their home. (Genesis 14-25)
- So also for young men and women today. We can recognize a healthy person, one fit for us by their fruit, as the Lord reminds us “a healthy tree bears good fruit” Matthew 7:17. So studying a person to make sure that the fruit is appropriate is important.
In conclusion, we were reminded that those looking for a partner must also seek to be the kind of person they are looking for.
